Recently, I had the honor to host a colleague of mine, Mrs. Haeli Elizabeth Spears, on our podcast, The Story of Us: From Cosmic Dawn to The Depths of Being. What an absolute treat to spend an hour, 1-on-1 with this remarkable young woman.
Haeli and I have worked together for almost 4 years now and she has been so consistent -a calm, steady beacon of positivity. I admire her and deeply appreciate the contributions she has made to our mission over the years. She has a lot to offer and I’m certain her story will resonate with others. I hope you find the time to tune in to her episode. We dive deep into some heady content, but, also I think you will come away with some lessons you can apply in your every day life- Impressive insights from a 27 year old.
In a water cooler moment a few years back, Haeli used a metaphor that stopped me in my tracks. I had to ask her to repeat it for me and I immediately added this question to my conversational toolbox. I find myself using it in my day-to-day interactions and personally reflecting on it often.
WHAT FILLS YOUR CUP?
There’s magic in imagery, right? In our podcast, Haeli and I chat a bit about this metaphor and she shares with us the candid joys—little rituals, heart-hugs and grounding delights—that she uses to “fill her cup.” It’s a beautiful image: small moments that replenish the spirit. At The Story of Us Project, we believe behind every human is a story… but also that each of us holds a quiet reservoir within—a place of peace, purpose, and joy. A place within our soul that contains the positive energy we send out to others. But in a world that glorifies hustle, bustle and constant output, we too often forget to look inward and “check our gas gauge”. We never take time to replenish the cup.
Your cup is your life-energy container. It holds the fuel for your creativity, compassion, clarity, and courage. And just like any vessel, it can run dry. The trick? Learn to notice the leaks—and refill it often, with intention. I’ve learned to check my fuel tank frequently. As a CEO, parent and husband, I sometimes find that I can be the dominant source of positive energy for everyone around me – consistently dipping into my cup and giving to others – keeping the morale up, putting on the happy face, pumping up the crowd…then frantically searching for that energy to be returned in kind. It can be exhausting. By the end of a busy week, I find my outputs far exceed my inputs… and I’m suddenly sitting on “E”. Let’s talk about what it means to fill your cup, how to know when it’s running low, and how to gently, powerfully replenish it.
How to Know When Your Cup Is Running Low
Sometimes it’s not burnout that catches up to you—it’s the subtle erosion of self over time, a gradual wearing down that can go unnoticed until it feels too late. This quiet descent into exhaustion can manifest in various ways, often creeping up during the mundane moments of everyday life. As days blend into weeks, and weeks into months, those little cracks in your mental state begin to deepen, often marked by a creeping sense of apathy or disconnection from the activities and people you once cherished. You may find that joy becomes elusive, and tasks that were once simple now feel insurmountable, leaving you to navigate a fog of lethargy that seems to linger. This silent struggle, albeit hard to recognize, affects not only your productivity but also your relationships, as the weight of unaddressed feelings bears down on your interactions, complicating the deeper connections that once brought you fulfillment. It is crucial to acknowledge these feelings and take proactive steps to reclaim your energy and sense of self before the cycle becomes more entrenched.
Here are a few quiet signals your cup might be nearing empty:
- Irritability without cause. You’re snappy, tired, or disconnected—even when nothing outwardly seems wrong.
- Joy feels far away. Things that once lit you up feel dull, like static on an old radio.
- You’re giving off fumes. You’re still showing up for others, but your internal voice whispers, “I’m freakin’ exhausted.”
- Rest doesn’t restore. Even when you sleep or “take a break,” it doesn’t feel like enough. Your sudden lack of energy makes even the simplest tasks feel like climbing Mount Everest.
- You feel numb. Emotions feel blunted—like your heart is on mute.
It’s crucial to pay attention to these indications, as they often signal a need for rejuvenation and self-care that we might overlook in our busy lives. A key to persevering is recognizing these as gentle nudges from your soul—not signs of weakness, but invitations to wake up and pay more attention.
Small, Impactful Ways to Refill Your Cup
As you’ll learn on the podcast, Haeli has figured out the secret to her soul. She refills her cup by curling up with a good book (Tip: check out Atmosphere by Taylor Reid Jenkins), practicing yoga, whipping up a new recipe or simply finding ways to reminder herself to see the joy in the everyday. Haeli teaches us that it doesn’t take a 6-month sabbatical or an exotic ayahuasca mountain retreat to start pouring back into yourself. The smallest moments often offer the deepest nourishment.
Here are some other beautifully simple ways you could try to refill your cup:
- Make a promise to yourself to reclaim some “Me Time”. One Hour of Solitude every so often- No phones. No to-do lists. Just you and quiet. A walk, a journal, a sunrise, your favorite meditation app. In the stillness, you meet yourself again.
- Bring some good ol’ fashioned play back in your day. Adulting can suck- big time. Blow bubbles with the kid next door. Crank some tunes and dance badly. Bake a new cookie recipe. Build a sand castle at the beach. Play is not just for children—it’s medicine for the soul.
- Protect Your Peace. Say no. Unfollow dipshits. Log off. Boundaries are beautiful. You cannot fill a cup that’s constantly being tipped over by chaos
- Connect—Genuinely. Not artificial scroll-and-like bullshit. Place a real call. Ask a friend over for dinner. Go in for a long hug. Find someone who reminds you of who you are and spend some time actually connecting with them.
Here’s the truth, my friends: no one else can pour into your cup like you can. Yes, others can help. But the real filling? It starts with permission—from you to you.
You’re allowed to step back.
You’re allowed to not always be “on.”
You’re allowed to be full.
Because when your cup has runneth over, everything changes: abundance flows into every aspect of your life, transforming your outlook and infusing your daily experiences with joy and gratitude. The energy you radiate shifts, inviting positivity and opportunities that were once out of reach. As you embrace this overflow, you begin to share it with others, creating a ripple effect that not only uplifts your own spirit but also empowers those around you to also seek their own fulfillment and happiness. Such a perspective invites a deeper connection with yourself and the world, fostering a sense of community and shared prosperity. If your cup is full, you are a better Mom, CEO, spouse and friend.
Your laughter is louder. Your love is deeper. Your vision is clearer.
Your presence becomes a gift to others.
A Deeper Well
If you know Haeli, you know for certain she is the biggest Kacey Musgraves fan on the Planet. This girl’s commitment for Kacey’s music makes Swifties look like they don’t even care about the release of “12”. And her favorite album? Of course, it’s Deeper Well. Let me share with you the opening lines to the Title Track-
My Saturn has returned
When I turned 27, everything started to change
Took a long time, but I learned
There’s two kinds of people, one is a giver
And one’s always tryin’ to take
All they can take
So, I’m saying goodbye to the people that I feel
Are real good at wasting my time
No regrets, baby, I just think that maybe
You go your way and I’ll go mine
It’s been a real good time
But you’ve got dark energy, something I can’t unsee
And I’ve got to take care of myself
I’ve found a deeper well
At The Story of Us Project, where hearts speak plainly and metaphors run deep, we often come back to one timeless truth: We each carry a cup that we have to take care to keep full—but somewhere inside us, there’s also a well, an endless reservoir of emotions, experiences, and wisdom.
This Deeper Well represents our capacity for growth, introspection, and compassion, reminding us that even when our cups feel empty or depleted, we have the power to tap into this rich source within. Embracing both the fullness of our cups and the depth of our Deeper Well allows us to navigate the complexities of life with grace, nurturing not only ourselves but also those around us. It is through this balance that we create connections and cultivate understanding, ultimately enriching our shared human experience.
While the cup is what the world sees, the deeper well is what holds you when no one else does. Your deeper well is:
- The knowing that you are worthy beyond what others tell you.
- The truth that you are whole, even when you’re healing.
- The stillness that exists beneath all the noise.
- The purpose that pulses quietly through everything you do – silently, in the background of your life
Here’s the soul-stretching insight, your “Ah-Ha Moment” – The Big Takeaway:
Your cup can be knocked over.
Your Deeper Well cannot.
Your cup is your experience of joy.
Your Deeper Well is your capacity for joy.
Your cup is a masterpiece painting.
Your Deeper Well is the palette, the water, and the hands that hold the brush.
So when your days feel brittle, when your joy feels performative, when your cup feels too small for the ache inside—you don’t need a bigger cup.
You need to dig deeper.
Dear reader, especially those in the midst of becoming—you 20 and 30 somethings desperately searching for the answers – know this:
Your playlists and morning rituals matter. Your lattes and sticky notes of affirmation are not silly. They are sacred. They fill your cup.
But also—
Cultivate your connection to something that doesn’t depend on productivity or performance. Ask what you love when no one’s watching. Ask what makes you cry—not from sadness, but from awe. That’s your Deeper Well.
So:
Drink from the cup.
Return to the Deeper Well.
Let both be enough.
A Final Reflection
One day, your cup may feel bone dry, empty of the vitality and energy that once flowed so freely. The world may ask for more than you have to give, demanding your strength, your creativity, and your enthusiasm in ways you never anticipated, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and undernourished. It is in these moments of depletion that you must seek the nourishment that restores your spirit, whether through connection with others, embracing nature, or simply taking the time to reflect and recharge, ultimately finding a way to refill your cup once more.
But remember:
There’s a deeper well beneath it all.
It doesn’t run dry.
It runs through you.
And when you return to it—through solitude, reflection, purpose, prayer, or simply remembering who you are—you’ll find that you’ve been whole all along.
So go on. Fill your cup.
But never forget the Deeper Well that fills you.
The Story of Us. 
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