Life at Full-Strength: A Note to My Daughter

“Do not dilute yourself to be digestible to others.“

That line has been bouncing around inside my head since the mic flipped and my daughter, Peyton, put me in the hot seat on our latest episode of The Story of Us: From Cosmic Dawn to the Depths of Being. If you listened, you heard us both preach a little truth and reflect on the many paradoxes of parenting: how love asks you to hold tight and also let go (often at the same time), how a small moment of mindfulness makes time slow down, how you can be soft without being weak. You also heard me admit I cry at coffee commercials. (No shame. Folgers can wreck my mental health during the Holidays)

This post is my add-on—an afterglow to that conversation. Here, I will dig into a few of the topics we unearthed on our Special Celebrity Guest Host episode that went live on September 1, 2025. This post is an open letter to my daughter and, really, anyone who’s ever contemplated watering themselves down to fit someone else’s too-small cup. Here is what I hope you took with you:

Takeaway 1: The Problem with “Palatable”

Somewhere between our cosmic dawn and a middle aged, Tuesday staff meeting, we start rounding our edges. We fight to become “acceptable.” We trade our thunder and lightning for drizzle because a little drizzle doesn’t completely ruin anyone’s picnic. But here’s the catch: the parts we’ve been tempted to sand down just to make ourselves a little less abrasive to others are the essential minerals that make us… well, us.

The reality is that humans are all interconnected. Each one of us is born of the same Stardust and Stardust is best served full strength. If you constantly try to filter your light through someone else’s sunglasses, you’ll forget how bright you really shine.

So let’s make this our shared vow: Never dilute yourself to be palatable to others. There it is, plain as day. Serving yourself up to others full bodied and neat is not a liability; it’s the essence of your very being. And the people who matter most, prefer this version of you over the less potent, generic version.

If someone needs you watered down, they’re thirsty for the wrong thing.

The ones who are meant for you will savor the strength. The rest can bring more water.

Takeaway 2: Time Travel for Dummies (No Flux Capacitor Required)

A theme we return to again and again at The Story of Us Project is scale—how the universe is vast and our moments are tiny, and somehow both can hold a sacred space inside us. I used to sprint past those tiny moments, mistaking perpetual motion for progress. Age (and a few face-plants) have taught me a better approach:

“Mindfulness is kind of magic—done right, it slows down time.”

Mindfulness doesn’t erase your calendar; it widens it. That sunrise on a Hilton Head beach with a sleepy kid and letters scratched in sand? That wasn’t “extra.” That was the whole damn movie, a beautiful scene filled with subtle and serene moments that could have slipped away unnoticed. When we slow down, listen deeply and pay attention, seconds start to stretch. What you notice, nourishes not just your soul but your relationships and your perspective on life. A few minutes of mindful presence can magically add time to your day, allowing you to savor each moment and truly engage with the world around you, transforming mundane routines into profound rituals filled with joy and appreciation.

Takeaway 3: The Lighthouse and the Sea

This was one of my favorite quotes from this episode. Any of us with children know that parenting can be the most beautiful ache. You want to bubble-wrap your kid and also hand them the car keys to the universe. It’s messy and frightening. I named it on air, and it bears repeating for others:

“We can be your lighthouse, but the ocean is yours.”

A lighthouse doesn’t chase the boat. It doesn’t panic-beam across every wave. Instead, it holds its place firmly on the rocky shore, shining its steady light through the darkest nights and stormiest seas. It keeps its promises, illuminating the path for those who venture out into the open water, guiding them safely back home. It trusts the sailor to learn the water, to navigate the complexities and uncertainties of life, knowing that true growth comes from experience. That’s love with a backbone, unwavering and strong, offering support without imposing control. That’s parenting as a form of leadership, too—standing firm in one’s values while empowering others to forge their own way. Sail on, “Into the Mystic!”

Takeaway 4: Say Less. Mean More.

I’m a recovering over-explainer and a chronic bullshit artist. (My work team is nodding. My family is applauding.) Don’t ever ask me to give you a book summary or chat about something I find interesting unless you have a few hours. And, if it’s a video conference with any small, subtle or awkward silence? You bet I’ll find a way to fill it. I recognize this is a problem and here’s a practice I’m still learning:

“Use fewer words—mean all of them.”

This may be hard to do as the host of a podcast but, I’m learning that economy of speech isn’t about silence; it’s about integrity. When you speak from the heart, you don’t have to raise your voice to make yourself heard. True power lies in the clarity and sincerity of your words, not in loudness or in a fanciful vocabulary. When you elect to open your mouth, proceed with extreme caution – Words can be powerful weapons of mass destruction if not chosen wisely.

This is one of many examples of how, in the vastness of the Universe, quality almost always trumps quantity. So, like me, try this: First, seek to understand by listening deeply. Before you answer, breathe once. This simple pause allows you to center your thoughts and emotions. Ask, What’s true and kind and necessary? Reflect on the impact of your words and who they affect. Say just that. It’s astonishing how much bravado dissolves—and how much courage remains in speaking authentically. In this way, you invite deeper understanding and connection, transforming conversations into meaningful exchanges rather than mere chit chat. By sharing your truth, you empower others to do the same, fostering an environment where honesty and kindness flourish.

Takeaway 5: The Art of “No” (or “Not Just Now Thank You.”)

If you want to live life undiluted, you’ll need to decline a few invitations—especially the ones that cost you your peace of mind and emotional well-being. Not because you’re difficult, but because you’re devoted to nurturing the relationships and experiences that truly matter to you. Your time is limited and your attention is sacred; guard it like it guards you, allowing only the most enriching interactions to enter your life. A loving “no” is a “yes” with better posture, an affirmation of your self-respect and boundaries. When you prioritize your inner harmony, you create space for deeper connections and more authentic engagement, ultimately enriching both your life and the lives of those who matter most to you. Embracing this selective approach may initially feel uncomfortable, but it lays the groundwork for a more fulfilling existence, one where you can thrive unapologetically in your authenticity.

Takeaway 6: When You Forget (Because You Will)

Here’s the final stitch, the one quote from our podcast that I hope my daughter will tuck in her pocket for the days she feels scatter-brained or shape-shifting to keep the peace:

“If you forget who you are, call me. I’ll remind you.”

Call me, text me, whisper it into a sunset—I’ll answer. And even if you don’t call, consider this your reminder: you are not a product to be taste-tested. You are a whole person, ocean-sized, lighthouse-guided, anchored in something bigger than other people’s comfort. You possess depth that runs like the tides, changing yet constant, a force of nature that doesn’t conform to the expectations of those around you. Embrace the vastness of your being, for within you lies the power to illuminate not just your own path, but also to guide others lost in the fog. Let your voice rise above the noise, a harmonious melody that celebrates uniqueness, resilience, and the courage to simply be yourself, unapologetically radiant in a world that often tries to demand that we start dimming our light and pulling our shades.

Three Tiny Practices to Stay Full-Strength

1. The One-Word Check-In. Before big conversations, choose one word you want to embody (e.g., steady, curious). Let that be the rudder.
2. The Undiluted Minute. Once a day, set a 60-second timer and notice exactly what’s here—the breath in your nose, the coffee aftertaste, the hum of the room. That’s mindfulness training wheels, and yes, it slows down time.
3. The Loving Boundary. Say a clean “no” to one ask that doesn’t align. No apology sandwich, no novel-sized text response—just a kind, complete sentence. Use fewer words—mean all of them.

A Closing for Peyton (and For You)

Peyton, you taught me that softness is not the opposite of strength; it’s strength with the lights on, radiating warmth and understanding in a world that often feels harsh and unyielding. You and your brother have been my slow-motion sunrise—every day, a little more sky, each moment revealing the beauty of connection and vulnerability that I had long overlooked. I’ll keep the lamp lit on shore, a beacon of hope and love guiding you through the vast unknown. Sail far, embracing the adventures that the sea of life has to offer. Sing loud, letting your voice echo across the waves, inspiring others to find their own courage. Send postcards filled with tales of your journeys, reminders that even when apart, our hearts remain intertwined in this grand tapestry of existence. Go Be Great.

To everyone reading: The Story of Us only works when each of us shows up as ourselves, unapologetically and authentically. The cosmos doesn’t need another echo; it needs your exact voice, at full volume, undeniable and kind. Each unique expression contributes to the rich tapestry of our shared existence, painting a picture that is vibrant and true. When we embrace our individuality, we not only honor ourselves but also inspire others to do the same, creating a symphony of diverse perspectives that can spark change and foster understanding in a world that feels more and more disconnected. Let your voice rise above the noise, and let it be a beacon of hope and compassion that guides us toward a brighter collective future.

So here’s to savoring the bold, rich flavor of an undiluted life. (you should trademark that Folgers).